The Five Love Languages Leaders Kit is based upon the New York Times bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages: the Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman. Chapman’s basic premise is that we all express and receive love in five different ways: 1) speaking words of affirmation, 2) spending quality time, 3) giving and receiving gifts, 4) performing acts of service, and 5) using physical touch. But, each of these channels do not have the same importance for each person. So, if a friend, child, or spouse has a different love language, then the love communication breaks down. It’s almost as if they speak a foreign language. We are expressing love the best way that we know how—but they aren’t receiving it. Likewise, they may be expressing love to us the best way that they know, but we do not experience being loved by them. Dr. Chapman’s prescription is to learn the love language of your mate, child, or friend.
One trouble I have with many speakers and authors is that they claim that their system or techniques will work every time and solve all the problems. Of course, the principles taught in The Five Love Languages won’t work every time and won’t solve every marriage issue. But it is an effective tool that is simple enough to be used by most couples to deepen their love relationship. And I have used these principles with couples who are struggling. Often selfishness is at the heart of couple difficulties. At some point in the counseling process, as a couple heals and learns to care for each other they run into the other main problem with relationships: an inability to communicate. Dr. Gary Chapman has provided a good guide for helping couples effectively communicate in one very important area.
Gary Chapman presents this material before a live audience. He walks the group through each love language, helps them identify their own love language and that of their mate, and then gives practical suggestions for improving their marriage. Although this curriculum is designed as a marriage enrichment study, the principles can be applied in a number of other situations, as well. For instance, I have used it very effectively in premarriage and youth dating courses, and I have seen it used in a singles ministry. The principles are transferable to a number of relationship areas.
The curriculum kit comes with DVDs of Dr. Chapman s messages, a leader’s guide, the love language profile assessment tool, a CD-Rom containing study guides in PDF format, one member book, and The 5 Love Languages book. Dr. Gary Chapman is very entertaining and your group will enjoy watching his presentation. This curriculum is designed to be flexible. There are two different presentation options. The first is an intensive 2-session format. You might use it for a retreat or one-day seminar—which is the manner in which the material was first presented. But the kit also includes outlines and study guides for a 7-session format (an introductory session, one session for each love language, and a final wrap-up session). This is perfect for a small group study, or an adult growth class or Sunday school class.
Check out my review of Gary Chapman’s latest edition of The Five Love Languages: the Secret to Love that Lasts.